If you’re getting an earful over your frequent “what was that”s and “say again”s, and miss out on a lot of
waffling on important information (that I’m sure you’ll hear about later, amirite?) – this tiny digital earpiece called the Voice Clarifying Amplifier could very well save your sanity.
Featuring an advanced microchip that amplifies human speech frequencies above background noise, the Voice Clarifying Amplifier intensifies vocal pitches to make spoken words clearly audible and easier to discern (unlike lesser models that just amp-up everything).
Completely rechargeable via the included keep-’em-safe carry case (powered by either an included AC adapter or 2 x AAA batteries), the Voice Clarifying Amplifier eliminates the need to repeatedly purchase costly coin cell batteries used in many other hearing devices, and operates for up to 10 hours on a single 12 hour charge.
Equipped with eight adjustable volume levels and four different-sized silicone caps to accommodate your own personal ear size, the Voice Clarifying Amplifier is small and inconspicuous (unlike those bulky over-ear things) and provides you with the opportunity to STOP being so defeatist and all “might as well just grin and bear it / cos it’s not worth the trouble of an argument” – for just $299.95 at Hammacher Schlemmer.
Better yet, for true auditory amelioration you can purchase a pair (one for each ear) for a reduced total of $449.90. What did you say about me? “Oh. Erm. I was just. I was just saying how terri…FFIC your new suit looks”. Naw, how kind. YOU’RE FIRED!