“Captain Mark Darkness. Welcome to FlashlightTimber.” Hmm. Alternate realities may not be as cool as they seem…

Ever feel like you’re surrounded by some personal perception filter? Well, Mr invisible, Captain Jack is here to save the day, and just dying (if he could) to sessify your look and Get. You. Noticed. (watch him with the tape measure though!) Introducing the Captain Jack Harkness Coat…a costume replica of his signature wardrobe piece.

Officially licensed by the BBC and featuring a double-breasted closure, replica RAF brass buttons, an exact replica belt buckle, a back kick pleat and functional pockets inside and out, the Captain Jack Harkness Coat is cool to the core (and super warm for winter) letting you strut through the snow looking quite the man about town time. After all, winter is when everything changes. And you’ve got to be ready!

Available in sizes S through XXL, the Captain Jack Harkness Coat is available now from ThinkGeek for $329.99.

“I see you birdy…shaking that tail. Ima pounce you good! Aaany moment now. Yep, any second. Damn, it’s cozy in here. Right, quick…before he gets away! No seriously, is the floor heated or something? Alright…on the count of three. 1…2…you know what, he’ll be back”…

Ever watched your cat napping when it’s chilly? You know, repeatedly trying to curl into an ever-tighter ball, but only succeeding in going round in circles?! I know. Cold with all that fur? Weak! (mee-oww!) But anyways, thanks to this super-duper-dwelling called the Only Heated Outdoor Cat House, kitty don’t have to be a house cat all winter.

Billed as THE ONLY place for cool cats to chill cozy up outdoors, the Only Heated Outdoor Cat House features a removable 20-watt heater inside its soft and luxurious, foam-lined waterproof floor – generating warm radiant heat to help frosty felines get warm and comfy between ‘ventures.

Covered in durable 600-denier nylon backed with waterproof vinyl, and featuring a pitched roof that overhangs all sides to keep kitty dry during showers or snow, the Only Heated Outdoor Cat House includes front and back doors for walk-thru warmth, simply plugs into AC and is available now from Hammacher Schlemmer for $129.95.

Is it raining? Is it snowing? Is an Arctic wind a-blowing? YES! Oh noes, frozen toes. Can’t. Go. On!…Foot. You’ll have to carry me.

If you’re struggling to keep your feet from freezing in this snowy, bitter cold – these heated wool and Thermostat socks will provide soothing warmth to keep you active (not crippled by the chill and terrified of leaving the house radiator). Called the 12 Hour Heated Socks, they feature battery-powered heating elements in the padded area of each toe ensuring your digits stay toasty throughout the day.

Running on high for 10 hours or low for as long as 12 hours and providing constant warmth through a virtually undetectable ultra-thin heating element, the wool-blend 12 Hour Heated Socks are made from hollow-core fibers that trap air while moving moisture away from the skin to ensure your feet don’t overheat and are available now from Hammacher Schlemmer for $24.95.

As cool as these ski goggles look, they’re even more impressive on the inside – as they feature an unobtrusive 2-inch “Heads-Up” display similar to those found in jet pilots’ helmets. Called the Only GPS Ski Goggles, they incorporate state-of-the-art sensors to let you keep an eye on your current speed, the current temperature, number of runs completed and even total ground covered – all with your eyes fixed firmly on the prize.

Including a built-in stopwatch to time your runs and alerting you when speed or altitude milestones are achieved, the Only GPS Ski Goggles can also store up to 24 hours of data in internal memory that can be transferred to your laptop via USB while you’re in the hot tub – which you can later analyze, organize and share with free downloadable software.

With advanced goggle-techery such as anti-fog and anti-glare polarized lenses that transition between yellow and deep amber as the light conditions change, the Only GPS Ski Goggles are powered by a lithium-ion battery that gets 6 hours of operation from a 3 hour charge and are available now from Hammacher Schlemmer for $499.95.

To the slopes…I’m going for a pilot run!

Music to chilly ears…

These musical muffs called the Midland SubZero Ear Warmer Headphones have got the cold beat, keeping your ears snug with their furry cotton lining – whilst built-in speakers blast your favorite snow-trudging tunes.

Great for music lovers and ideal for iPhone/BlackBerry users, these cozy cans even include a cable-mounted remote/mic so you can take calls without taking them off and pause/play tracks without fumbling for your iPod.

Lined with FAUX fur so you won’t get an activist earful (or a bucketful of paint), the Midland SubZero Headphones feature a behind-the-head strap that won’t muss your do (you peacock, you), a slimline design for bulge-free beanie wear and are available now from the warm and toasty Firebox.com for $54 | £35 | €41.

“Ahead of the rest, comes the Best Heated Vest
It gets hotter than all models tested
With even heat distribution, you’ve found the solution
Keeping warm and toasty and rested”

An extract from “Vest Verse” by– waaaaaaiit a minute. That sound’s like German sausage! Get me my publisher…they gonna get a grilling.

The Best Heated Vest features patented heating technology to provide you with superior winter warmth, evenly distributed around your entire torso. With three heating elements strategically placed in the chest and back, the Best Vest is powered by a compact 4-oz 7-volt lithium battery pack that can generate 2 solid hours of heating on high (or as many as 9-hours on low). Including 4 power settings, a 3 hour recharge and a water-resistant poly/fleece shell, the Best Heated Vest is on the rack over at HS with a tag price of $169.95. Hot stuff!

Hey look…it’s a squirrel! Aww, look at hiiiiim, he’s so niiiiice. Hello, Mr Squirrel…would you like a nut? Here he comes. Here he comes. Aww. WAIT! WTF! Did you see that? He just stole my nut. “What? You just offered it to h–” Yeah, but I didn’t think he’d snatch it from me! What a little b**tard. YOU BETTER RUN…

Suffering from mood swings? (heh, heh) This energy light called the Philips goLITE BLU Light Therapy Device could be the answer, as it’s clinically proven to naturally boost your mood and energy levels in as little as 15 minutes a day.

Smaller in size and less intense than the usual white SAD lamps, the Philips goLITE BLU Light is apparently the number-one bestselling energy light worldwide and provides safe, low-intensity, UV-free light therapy at an arm’s-length as you work or watch TV.

Featuring a lightweight, portable design, touchscreen brightness and timer controls and a rechargeable battery, the Philips goLITE BLU Light Therapy Device is an official light therapy product of the National Sleep Foundation, comes with a 2 year warranty and is rated a radiant 4 out of 5 stars from 148 customer reviews over at Amazon.com for $157.99.

If the falling temperatures are exacerbating your aches and pains, this hairbrush-shaped wand called the LED Pain Reliever can help. Using NASA-developed technology originally intended to heal astronauts’ injuries in space, the device incorporates 60 red LEDs that produce safe infrared heat – which has been shown to stimulate blood circulation, loosen tight muscles and relieve swelling in joints.

Proven effective in a study conducted at the Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin where the red LED tech reduced painful inflammation by up to 37%, the LED Pain Reliever penetrates deep into tissue for lasting pain relief and may potentially reduce wrinkles and speed skin healing too – based on what we’ve seen in previous research.

Healing away discomfort when placed 0.25-inches from the skin, the LED Pain Reliever can easily target multiple problem areas anywhere on your body and is available now from Hammacher Schlemmer for $159.95.

Using a touchscreen device whilst wearing gloves is always a bit touch and gotta take them off. But thanks to these magical mittens called the Touchscreen Gloves, you can keep cosy AND connected simultaneously.

Equipped with special conductive material woven into the thumb, index and middle fingers, the Touchscreen Gloves will ensure you can pinch, tap and scroll to your heart’s content – without removing your essential hand warmers and losing digit dexterity to the cold. Googlemapping your way around town with frostbitten fingers? Not nice!

Compatible with most touchscreen devices (including the iPad and iPhone), the Touchscreen Gloves won’t scratch or damage your display in any way and are available now from Firebox.com for $21 | £13 | €15 (inc. FREE UK shipping). Brrriliant!

If you’re a slow soda / beer drinker or simply wish that last gulp was as refreshing as the first, this cool-keeping can holder called the Thermos Stainless Steel Can Insulator will keep your drink ice-cold 10X longer than a bare can, offering up to 3 hours of chilled refreshment.

Featuring double-wall vacuum insulation that keeps your drink cold without freezing your hand (the outside remains at room temperature), the Thermos Stainless Steel Can Insulator also prevents leaving paper-wetting, table-marking condensation rings on your desk thanks to its non-slip, scratch-resistant base.

With an unbreakable 18/8 stainless steel construction and a compact design that fits most car cup holders, the Thermos Can Insulator is available now in a mega-thirst 2-pack from Vat19.com for $27.95. Koozie…Koozie…Cool!